“What do you mean, I have to undress?” Mike asked.
“How can I wax you with your clothing on?” Jessie Dillard asked. A small woman with long, golden hair and a bright smile, she said, “Alex? Are you staying here?”
“Yeah, I’ll stay,” Alex Hargreaves said. “I’ve seen him buck naked before.”
“But … you see … I …” Mike sputtered.
“I’ll let you two work this out,” Jessie said. Standing with the door half open, she said. “I’ll be right back.”
Alex and Mike watched her pull the door closed.
“I don’t know about this,” Mike said. His eyes flicked toward the door.
“You want to fit into Val’s Hollywood world, don’t you?” Alex asked. “How many men said you should get waxed?”
“Everyone I asked.”
“Did they say it would kill you?”
“No,” Mike said. “But it might.”
Alex plopped down in the armchair in the corner.
She pulled out the handgun she always wore at her sacrum and pointed it at him.
“You won’t shoot me.”
“Wanna bet?” Alex asked.
Mike sneered at her and took off his clothing. Alex pointed to the sheeted table and he lay down. She threw a towel at him to cover his genitals. There was a tap at the door.
“Shooting people?” Jessie asked.
“Oh, sorry,” Alex holstered her handgun.
”What are we doing?” Jessie asked. She looked over Mike’s body. “Can you sit up?”
Mike sat up.
“What do you think?” Alex asked.
“The unibrow has to go. You’re seeing Michael Moore?”
“I’ll clean up the eyebrows but leave something for Mr. Moore to do. We should take off all the hair from his shoulders, back and butt,” Jessie said. She lifted the towel. “I think we can leave his chest hair. Arm hair, too. There’s not too much of it. It’s just long. You’ll trim it?”
“Sure,” Alex said.
“Why do I have to do this?” Mike asked.
“You don’t,” Jessie said. “You’ll look better on television and in photos. The hair presses your clothing off your skin.”
“Oh,” Mike said. He lay back on the table.
“We’ll get rid of this hair too.” Jessie touched his pubic hair.
“What?” Mike sat up again. “Why?”
“You’ll see,” Alex said. “Go ahead, Jessie. Do what you think is best.”
Mike sat up and rotated his legs to the edge of the table.
“You know Val has never complained. It’s not like we’ve EVER had any …”
Alex pointed her gun at Mike again. He dropped back to the table.
“I’m just saying,” Mike added in his defense.
Jill pulled the Lexus SUV up to Megan’s house. Before she could fully stop the car, Katy flew out of the front door. She hopped up and down until Jill got out of the SUV.
And Jill knew she was right where she belonged.
“Hi,” Valerie said. She ruffled Mike’s hair. “I wondered what happened to you.”
After Jessie, Mike received his first professional haircut from George at Luxe Salon. George clipped, trimmed, and shaved until Mike’s hair hung in curls just below his chin. Alex then took him back to her house, where he stood on the deck and had his remaining body hair trimmed. Alex dropped him at the workshop to shower.
“No, I mean it,” Valerie threaded her hands around his neck. Her finger slipped under his shirt. She sighed into him. “What happened to you?”
“I asked some friends for help,” Mike said.
Valerie pulled off his shirt. Her fingers played with his trimmed chest hair. He had to grab her hands to stop her from taking his pants off in the middle of the main Castle kitchen.
“We’re supposed to meet with some designer.”
“Ramon already picked out three dresses for me. I don’t need another dress.”
“It’s for me,” Mike said. Breaking off from a kiss, he said, “Mostly. They want …”
Valerie kissed him. He stepped back.
“Oh,” Valerie said. “Ramon already picked out something for you too. Who’s the designer?”
“Um … Sorry, Alex told me, but I forgot. She wants to ask you if you’d like to be a spokesmodel for some clothing thing they have coming out. She hoped to talk to you while they were in town. They live in Paris.”
Valerie shrugged and then kissed Mike.
“You’ll talk to her,” Mike said.
“I like meeting new people,” Valerie said. “When are we meeting them?”
“Tomorrow morning, early.”
Valerie dropped his pants.
“Oh Mike …”
She dragged him into the sitting room.
The retelling of Denver Cereal, Volume 1, continues tomorrow…
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